Is Your Fear of Success Holding You Back?
How Childhood Memories Shape Your Relationship with Success—And How to Break Free for Good
Let’s start with something that might sound a bit wild: your fear of earning more or stepping into success might not have anything to do with laziness, lack of ambition, or even external circumstances. It might be linked to something much deeper—your money story.
This was the case for one of my clients.
She came to me feeling completely stuck. Her business was doing okay, but no matter how much she wanted to grow, she found herself pulling back. She’d avoid taking on new opportunities, hesitate to raise her prices and procrastinate when big decisions came her way.
She didn’t understand why.
“Why do I keep holding myself back?” she asked.
The truth is, the beliefs we carry about money—beliefs often shaped in childhood—can create invisible barriers to success. And until we uncover and rewrite those stories, they’ll keep running the show.
This is exactly what happened with her and it all boiled down to traumatic memories from her past. But today i’m gonna take you down the path of a specific memory of hers.
When we began exploring her money story, I asked her a question that often uncovers hidden fears:
👉 What’s the downside of earning more money?
Her immediate reaction? “There isn’t one!”
But with a little patience, she remembered a moment from her childhood that explained everything.
She described sitting in the corner of her living room as a little girl, watching her parents argue about money. They were shouting, pointing fingers and blaming each other over unpaid bills.
In that moment, she made a subconscious decision:
Money equals conflict. It’s better to stay small (aka hidden) and avoid it altogether.
To work through this belief, I asked her to revisit that memory—not just to recall it, but to really sit with it, relive it.
“What did you see, hear and feel?” I asked.
It was hard for her at first because her concious mind would interviene. She remembered feeling small, scared and powerless.
“I hated it. I hated how money seemed to tear them apart,” she said.
Then, I asked her a powerful question:
👉 What were the benefits for your parents in that moment?
At first, she thought I was mad. “Benefits? What could possibly be good about that?” But as we looked closer, the answers came:
The argument pushed her parents to confront their financial situation.
It forced them to communicate (even if it wasn’t ideal).
It highlighted areas they needed to work on together.
It eventually led to better budgeting and financial decisions.
As she listed more and more benefits, the memory started to shift. The emotional charge began to fade.
What once felt like a traumatic moment started to look more neutral—even purposeful.
But we didn’t stop there.
Next, I asked her to reflect on how this experience had shaped her own life in positive ways:
👉 What did this moment invite you to do with your life? What have you gained because of it?
She realised the experience had driven her to:
Become fiercely independent—she never wanted to rely on anyone else financially.
Develop strong money management skills, like budgeting and saving.
Be highly motivated to create a stable, secure life for her family.
Break the cycle of financial conflict she saw growing up.
This was a huge shift. She started to see that even painful moments could carry gifts.
Finding the Opposite Side
To break her limiting belief fully, I asked her to reflect on times when her parents didn’t argue about money.
👉 When did they talk about money calmly? What did they do differently in those moments?
At first, it was hard to think of any. But as we dug deeper, she remembered:
Times when her parents sat down together to calmly plan their finances at the dinner table
Moments of collaboration, like working out how to save for family holidays.
Small victories, like celebrating when they finally paid off a debt or reaching an important financial mileastone.
Joking about expenses and finding creative ways to manage tight months.
She even remembered her dad teaching her how to save money by showing her how he tracked their household expenses in a notebook.
She began to see a pattern she’d never noticed before: money wasn’t always about arguments and tension. Her parents had shown collaboration and joy around money, too.
We kept listing these moments until one thing became clear: Money wasn’t always a source of conflict. Her parents displayed the opposite behaviour just as often—they worked together, celebrated wins and taught her valuable lessons.
The belief that money equals chaos began to crumble.
By seeing both sides, she broke the belief that money always equals chaos.
With her perception shifted, we moved on to her current situation. I asked:
👉 What are the downsides of holding yourself back and staying small?
She listed 45 downsides, including:
Feeling stuck and unfulfilled.
Not being able to provide the life she wanted for her kids.
Missing opportunities to grow her business.
Letting fear dictate her decisions.
Losing confidence in herself and her abilities.
This step was crucial—it made her realise that staying small wasn’t protecting her. It was costing her everything she truly valued.
Now that the old belief was gone, we replaced it with a new one: earning more doesn’t have to equal conflict. Instead, it can mean freedom, opportunity and alignment with her values.
She began to see how financial success could:
Create stability and security for her family.
Allow her to invest in her personal growth and happiness.
Help her break generational patterns of fear and scarcity.
Provide opportunities to give back and help others.
For the first time, success felt like something to embrace, not fear.
The Takeaway
This process wasn’t about changing the past. It was about seeing it for what it truly is—a perfect balance of challenge and support, chaos and order, struggle and growth.
When we stop resenting the people, events and moments that shaped us, we unlock something powerful. We free our minds. We stop clinging to old stories and we open ourselves to new opportunities and perspectives.
It’s not about rewriting history; it’s about loving it exactly as it is. That’s the purest form of freedom.
Because the stories you tell yourself about money are just that—stories. They’re not set in stone. And just like my client, you can rewrite them too.
Maybe you’ve been holding yourself back because of a belief that money is bad, success is dangerous or earning more will make people expect too much from you. But those beliefs? They don’t have to control you.
You are not your past. And you’re not your old money story.
💬 Let’s Rewrite Your Money Story Together
You don’t have to do this alone. I’d love to help you uncover the stories holding you back and guide you to find the balance and freedom you deserve.
Together, we can help you see the order in your chaos and unlock the limitless opportunities waiting for you.
📩 Message me or visit Mintful Mind to book your free session today.
#MoneyMindset #RewriteYourStory #LimitlessLiving #DemartiniMethod #MintfulMind